After listening to Rachel Maddow’s history lesson on the Winter War between Russia and Finland in 1939-40, it occurred to me that maybe there was a debilitating lack of resolve among the invading Russian troops, since they were being told to invade a sovereign nation that had done nothing to them except to have the bad fortune of sharing a border.

The Finns held their ground until the sheer volume of Russian troops tipped the scales a few months in. They were defending their homeland from an army that was just following orders, who were fighting without a certain animus or “inspiration.” Or any real reason for being there other than Josef Stalin wanting to gobble up more land for Mother Russia (how much more land do they need? They possess the largest landmass on earth!).

The Russians hadn’t been attacked or provoked, so how could the average recruit feel like what they were being told to do was a good idea, somehow morally justifiable? Tough position to be put in, for anyone with a conscience. Yet they were compelled to do their jobs. To be order-following soldiers.

It might make one wonder if a similar dynamic doesn’t exist in the current unprovoked invasion. This might be our only hope—that Russian troops, en masse, awaken to the contrived purpose and the grotesque depravity, then rise up and flip Vlad the bird.

I’ve never been an ambitious person. Maybe for short stretches, but never sustained. It’s always been a tough sell, for some reason. I could blame it on my upbringing, but I’m not looking for excuses.

Ambition gets its fair share of bad press, because it consumes as much as it inspires. One can associate it with people like Edison and Einstein and MLK, or Hitler and Trump and Genghis Khan. It can be blind or focused. Whatever it is, I have not been blessed with it. I’ve often seen it as evidence of a certain selfishness, i.e. one’s pursuits in life are the only things that matter, to the exclusion of everything and everyone else.

Yet, ambitious people achieve things—and sometimes for the benefit of others, not merely for themselves and their own enrichment and glory. I’d like to know what it’s like to be ambitious, to be motivated, to have a goal and achieve it. Maybe that’s happened for me but I’ve never thought of it in such terms.

Anyway, I think I’ve largely missed that boat. And I believe this has been a giant disappointment for the one person I’ve always wanted to please.

I’m having trouble focusing on the significance of a lot of things. We have a situation in Ukraine that seems to be spiraling out of control, but here at home we try to ignore that and just get on with daily life.

There’s a new Masters champion and I’m happy for him, but the hoopla surrounding that doesn’t amount to a hill of beans compared with what else is going on in the world. It’s like we know that Putin is a loose cannon capable of just about any heinous act, including drawing us in and escalating to Armageddon. But we choose to ignore that and take solace instead in the start of a new baseball season and “the roars are back” at the Masters and the Easter bunny is coming and the kitchen needs remodeling and maybe, at last, Covid is receding in the rearview mirror.

Fucking Vladimir Putin. Much of the world recognizes the depravity and wants no part of it. But at the same time, don’t we have to stop and realize the consequences of our apathy and inaction? Vocal support and other shows of solidarity are nice, but basically window dressing.

It is, without a doubt, a sticky situation—no one wants to play into Putin’s hands and cause a widening of hostilities. But the people of Ukraine are crying out, and it seems hardly anyone is really listening.

Sometimes I think the worst possible descriptor of a person is that they are incompetent. Things grow more pathetic when this person brags about being not only competent, but a genius.  

The January 6^th Committee may be unearthing all kinds of dirt on Trump and his cronies, but what are the chances that they’ll be able to hang anything on him? It’s gonna end up as just another in a continuing series of perceived witch hunts, all that effort wasted, because Mitch McConnell and Co. will yet again find ways to delay and discount and render irrelevant and inconsequential the entire body of evidence– the usual and handy “much ado about nothing.” Facts that will be shocking and damning, but will only mean something to those of a particular political stripe, and which are otherwise painted as harmless and a chasing after wind.

It matters little what the majority of Americans feel and think and know. Floor votes and filibusters are all that matter, along with a steady stream of media disinformation that keeps a vocal minority foaming at the mouth.

One might hope that all this will be part of the public record, at least. Available to anyone who wants to read up on this ignominious chapter.

Question everything. This is where we are now. If Rachel Maddow can be believed—and it seems she does her homework—Russian cyber interference is so prevalent and devious and effective that we need to question everything. Every Facebook post, every Tweet, every email that doesn’t seem quite right.

The Republican talking points that have us doing double takes? Quite possibly sitting Senators and Congresspeople are taking their cues from Russian disinformation that’s flooding the internet and having actual effect on opinions and beliefs. Witness the lead-up to and aftermath of the 2016 and 2020 elections, or the more recent mind-blowing account of one Republican official who got up at a meeting and talked about the “fact” that elementary school children are dressing up as cats and dogs and coming to school and defecating in corners because their teacher wouldn’t give them a litter box. This person apparently never gave a thought to checking sources or stopping to think before unloading this pile of bullshit for the whole world to hear.

Whether or not this came from some internet think tank in Russia is unknown, but it’s this sort of drivel that is disseminated regularly and embraced, most often by Republicans who are hell-bent on making Democrats look silly and impotent.

The internet is Russia’s most effective weapon, in a way, and they know how to wield it. There’s a more than even chance that much of the outlandish, sensational proclamation and accusation—and much of the more rational sounding stuff—spewing from the mouths of Republicans is made up, not true, or at least exaggerated. All in the service of painting Democrats, or any enemies of the Kremlin and Putin (and the fossil fuel industry?), in the worst possible light.

Going forward, one might think that we’ll all be more wary of such deceit. Probably not, but couldn’t one dare to hope that if we’re aware that Russia’s intent is to get Americans to hate and distrust one another, we just wouldn’t let that happen?

I know I’m in a bad place, attitude wise, and I’m not getting any younger. Maybe that’s in part what’s behind my piss-poor frame of mind. I’ve been living to other people’s expectations seemingly forever. I’ve led a conflicted life. Never sure of myself, without dreams or goals or the focus and drive to achieve them. But also feeling like the whole dream-following thing is its own brand of folly- self-serving, narcissistic. Selfish in the extreme.

So I’ve lived somewhere in the middle, a sort of existential no man’s land, specializing in inertia. 

Major drama at the Academy Awards the other night. Chris Rock made a joke at the expense of Will Smith’s wife, so Smith went up to Rock and gave him a helluva slap, then went back and sat down.

Holy shit, right? It’ll go down in the annals of memorable moments on a perennially irrelevant, vapid, and ridiculous program of self-congratulations and outsized ego stroking.

Jimmy Kimmel spent half of his Monday monologue talking about Smith. I think Jimmy’s an unabashed star-struck Hollywood junkie. Or maybe he’s just finding ways to talk up ABC. Between the Oscars and The Bachelor, he engages in an excessive amount of shameless plugging.

How long will it take for the folks at MSNBC and other “fake news” media outlets to tamp down their enthusiasm and wishful thinking regarding the latest pseudo-threat to Trump’s lying, conniving life on this side of prison?

The latest dog bone giving the vapors to liberal pundits everywhere is the somehow hilarious yet infuriating statement that Trump “more likely than not” committed crimes on January 6.

Holy cow. Is this hedging because no one dare commit to certainty regarding Trump’s complicity? Or is it more no one wants to jinx the possibility that this time might be the time, that the January 6^th Committee may actually be on to something that Trump can’t deny or pin on someone else?

Good ol’ time will tell, I guess. Once again, I wouldn’t be holding my breath.

A few years back, as I was sitting with a family preparing for a funeral service, a thought took hold with regard to our opinions and perceptions of “old people.”

When I was visiting with these folks and reminiscing about their uncle, they produced a picture of him in his Army uniform- young, bright-eyed, handsome, full of vim and vigor. It was the same person who now had encountered the inexorable process of aging and had finally run out of gas.

I guess it made me think about how easily we can dismiss the elderly as one-dimensional burdens, as “used up,” having done their thing and run their course, with nothing more to contribute, no stories to tell, just waiting to die.

The thing is that when we don’t make the effort, all we see is the broken down, worn out versions of people who were every bit as vital and vibrant as us. They were young once, too. We are often oblivious to the people they used to be and in important ways continued to be.

Which isn’t to say that some folks haven’t lead more interesting lives than others. This particular gentleman was a paratrooper with the Army 17th Airborne Division in Europe during WWII. That in itself deserves a closer look. Except I guess he never talked about his war experience. Why is that, by the way? Are they sworn to secrecy, too humble to toot their own horns, or the memories too painful to recount?

Anyway, I had an epiphany of sorts, made a connection I had sort of made before. But for some reason it had never coalesced until these arrangements were in process. I sensed the continuity- that this man who had succumbed to the aging process was the same man who jumped out of airplanes in enemy territory, walked everywhere, knew the taxonomy of the trees and bushes around his house, built brick walls, wielded a chainsaw, ate kale, taught himself how to play the guitar, taught the younger generations about life, and let wasps land on his arms.

What we see in nursing homes and other “care” facilities are only snippets of bigger pictures and often fuller lives that we can only begin to appreciate through the photo collages displayed at the calling hours, or the stories shared among family and friends.

The graveside service for this man included military honors- a flag-draped casket, Taps, the folding of the flag and presentation of it to next of kin with the words, “On behalf of the President of the United States, the United States Army, and a grateful nation, please accept this flag as a symbol of our appreciation for your loved one’s honorable and faithful service.” This gets me every time. You can hear a pin drop. Such a fitting tribute.

Although, I have to admit to cringing a bit when he said, “On behalf of the President of the United States…”  Talk about cheapening the moment.

Like Trump cared. Or that I considered him our President.

What do you have against the U.S.? Is it our system of governance, or our seeming hubris? Do you hate us because we claim an affinity for democratic ideals, or because we come across as braggards and show-offs and we have our fingers in too many pies? Would it matter to you that, if you were to ask the average American on the street, many would say that they have nothing against Russia and Russians and they just want to get along, or be left alone so they can navigate their lives, which are challenging enough without having to worry about World War III?

Your foray into Ukraine is revealing your cold-heartedness, your disregard for human life. The world isn’t seeing much else. We’re not seeing nor are impressed by your willingness to undertake such a war effort. All most of us see is your lack of humanity. We see a grossly selfish, easily bruised man living in the past trying to save face, trying to stay in power, trying to hold onto his opulent and ostentatious lifestyle while the people he ”leads” are becoming increasingly isolated and struggling in the dark to get by.

One thing to keep in mind, Vlad: if you are trying to take advantage of our “softness” and unwillingness to respond to your aggression, you must also understand that ultimately our response will lead to destruction on a scale that leaves no one unscathed. If you survive such a cataclysm, you will have accomplished your objective of bringing America to its knees, but at the cost of bringing the rest of the world along with us.

You aren’t a genius, as your stooge Donald recently gushed. You’re not smart in a helpful way. You’re just diabolical. You are applying yourself in the wrong direction. You put a lot of effort into anticipating any and all eventualities like sanctions and even the groundswell of anti-war sentiment. You’re a master of misdirection, of twisting words and spreading disinformation. Your bread and butter is being ruthless, acting apart from a conscience. So, congrats on all that, you empty-souled, beady-eyed little man.

We should be beyond tired of suffering the consequences of a microscopic minority’s delusions and twisted aspirations. You want to go to war, Vlad? Suit up and go fight it yourself.