In the last few days, we’ve lost Pele, Barbara Walters, and Pope Benedict. It’s somehow interesting to see who emerges as being important enough to be remembered in a really public way, who leaves his or her mark, people whose deaths are noted and make the In Memoriam year-end review, or whatever that’s called.

Went to bed after falling asleep on the couch. It was 11:45pm, only another 15 minutes until ball drop, and I didn’t even consider staying up for it. That’s my attitude in a nutshell. And the fact that it’s now a new year doesn’t change a thing.

How long will it be before we read of Europe being engulfed in chaos, sides becoming clearer, an axis of evil comprised of Russia, China, maybe Belarus, whoever else? For various reasons, the world will once again be at war, humanity still incapable of rising above its worst proclivities, having learned nothing in the 80 years since the last time we were all together in a maelstrom.

And the most maddening thing is that it’s a mere handful of people precipitating the fall. How could we let them do that?

A suspect in the Idaho murder cases has been arrested in Monroe County, PA, and it seems a big deal is being made of the fact that this guy was a white grad student in Criminology at a neighboring school in Washington state. Almost seems like an example of racial bias– subtle surprise because the guy wasn’t a caricatured black or Latino man.

Was he fascinated with the ins and outs of the system, just testing theorems? Is he gonna use the system to his advantage in his defense? Was he hoping to get away with this because of the insider information he thought he had? Or is he just the latest violent and sick mastermind, killing out of boredom or lust, or for fun?

The picture currently accompanying the story shows someone who looks rather defiant and crazed, like he’s trying to stare down, or through, anyone who’s looking at him.

What does it say about someone who can’t be amazed anymore—depression has set in, cynicism and skepticism have taken over? Somehow, they’ve “seen it all,” and there’s just nothing new under the sun? Sounds like a lousy place to live, if it can be called living.

I can’t imagine day after day of going without at least a moment or two of revelation or discovery. Maybe a good New Year’s resolution would be to learn one new thing every day. There would actually be no shortage of things to learn. Pick up a newspaper, a world almanac (if they still publish such things), think of a topic and Google it, or just go to a dictionary and learn a new word.

Take a walk, walk backwards, look around, sit at a spot where land meets water, pay someone a compliment, open a door for someone, look up on a clear winter night, smell the air, try a new recipe, get a complete physical, ask for help, dust off a camera, pick up that guitar that probably needs a good tuning, start learning a second or third language, give War and Peace another try, go ice fishing and learn how to filet a perch… or not.

Make plans for a garden, build a work bench, call or text or email a friend… Wow, this quickly morphed into a stock, sappy New Year’s laundry list. Sorry.

You know what I mean, though. New and different and reconnection can be good things. It’s an amazing world, whether or not we currently think so.

Let’s see… a Republican who lied on his resume, another barrage of missiles launched against Ukraine, and a lawsuit brought against Apple because the oxygen sensor on the Apple Watch wasn’t properly calibrated for different skin colors…?

One could rightly think Mr. Santos is a dead man walking, but maybe not in today’s Republican Party, where strong character is just one item on a list of options. And Kevin McCarthy needs votes.

Let’s skip over Ukraine for a minute and go right to this lawsuit… Is this an actual thing? Was there any thought of simply contacting Apple and asking questions? Maybe, but there’s also potential for a money-making settlement by publicizing and accusing and pointing out what I’m guessing is an innocent oversight on the part of Apple engineers, something they may not have ever considered. A thoughtful and well-reasoned theory, I guess, but it sounds slimy and contrived to me. Playing the race card? I don’t know.

As for Putin and the relentless bombing? There is only emptiness anymore. Blank faces, blank stares. He’s an animal. He’s bereft of humanity, as are those around him who are encouraging such depravity. “War is war,” they’ll say. “Get over it.”

Fuck you.

Zelensky’s trip to the U.S. can’t be sitting well. 

If the final result of all the inquiries and potential indictments is that Donald Trump can never again run for federal office, then all the time and effort will have been totally worth it. Jail time for Bonzo would be very sweet, but an equally satisfying outcome would be never having to worry about His Ugliness coming down another escalator or spewing emptiness at another MAGA rally and announcing his candidacy for a job he probably doesn’t want and is wildly unqualified to hold.

In Donald’s mind, the death knell might sound when he realizes that most people finally see him for who he really is: an empty soul, a schmuck with a tired schtick. Seeing the audience he so craves shrink to almost nothing? Priceless.

That might do him in.    

I watch my share of YouTube videos, and I came across one the other day that had a collection of traffic cam footage of accidents that happened during Elliot—the recent blizzard and bomb cyclone that crossed the country.

My conclusion after watching this mix of fender benders and life-threatening high-speed impacts is that people are or can indeed be clueless, careless idiots. An uneducated guess would place the lion’s share of blame on either younger drivers who feel bulletproof, or others who place way too much confidence in their 4-wheel drive capabilities and are operating like it’s a clear summer day.

There is no adjusting for conditions, no consideration for anyone else unlucky enough to be sharing the road. It’s either “hold my beer” or a mystifying lack of awareness that wind and blowing snow and black ice warrant a significant change in driving habits. I guess what amazes me is that, Christmas or not, there were so many people who still felt compelled to be on the road when they knew what awaited them there.

But that’s what we do, I guess. We’re not gonna let a silly blizzard keep us from a beer run or getting to Grandma’s house.

How much do we know about North Korea, besides making assumptions about its skewed priorities and that it’s basically a munitions depot?

We’ve probably seen the pictures of the Koreas at night—South all lit up, North practically dark in its entirety because, as the explanation goes, the government of North Korea has decided to invest whatever money it has in military hardware, including nuclear weapons.

So, to hell with utilities and other infrastructure, and its citizens?

The recent rumblings in that part of the world, with China flaunting fighter jets and ships, makes me think that North Korea’s chest pounding from time to time is always in the service of China– that they’ll do their best to have China’s back, in case things go south with Taiwan.

So, the latest trend is to damage electrical substations. As much as they are capable of perceiving with their perverted pea brains, the perpetrators probably consider this some sort of awesome, patriotic “strategy.” Or they just like inflicting pain and shooting things and blowing stuff up.

Either way, it’s a disturbing development that indicates the presence of some sort of blueprint, and maybe that the hardcore Trump groupies are ready to take the gloves off and go full subversive on us.

It’s Christmas Day 2022. Had to think about what actual day of the week it is (Sunday). I’ve spent some time today sitting in front of a virtual fireplace, listening to carols played in an unadorned manner on the piano.

We didn’t go anywhere for Christmas Eve worship, just sat at the kitchen table watching a couple of local online offerings on YouTube. At some point in the day yesterday I was contemplating making the effort to go to an early service locally, but that didn’t happen. The only other options were at 9pm, and that was too late for me.

It’s difficult to put into words how I’m feeling. Christmas has always held a special spot in my memory, the old feelings never too far away yet more difficult to conjure of late. A certain carol or song can still bring me back, but there’s something else going on now, and it has to do with this inner turmoil, this doubt that keeps nipping at my heels, chipping away at my understanding of things.

Perhaps at long last I’m realizing how little any of these feelings and emotions have had to do with Jesus. I feel no compulsion to attend worship, and when I watch the online services or attend in person, I am watching with a growing cynical and skeptical eye. It’s becoming a bore to me– not because things need to be spiced up, but because the words and message I hear are so bound to formula, agonizingly familiar, increasingly empty of import and meaning and relevant unpacking. It’s simply rehash and party line week after week, a lazy embellishment of chapter and verse.

I’m always listening in the hope that someone can hit a nerve, touch on a novel perspective that resonates and knocks me out of this errant orbit I seem to be settling into.

What does the family think of me? Are the kids starting to put two and two together? My actions aren’t matching what I was preaching for 26 years. I’m just drifting.

Kari Lake is the latest denier to have her case tossed. For lack of evidence.

Why do they bother? Is it really the sabotage factor, hoping to plant seeds of doubt? Might it not start working the other way? Seems like what we’re seeing are judges before whom these cases are brought who, as it turns out, are not in Trump’s pocket and seem to prefer not wasting time on such frivolous nonsense.

It’d be nice if this mindset runs its course, finally dismissed with the derisiveness it has always deserved.