It’s exhausting and infuriating. Already.

Now we get to suffer Kevin McCarthy playing Speaker, with a gavel in his hand, along with Jim Jordan and Matt Gaetz and Marjorie Taylor Green and Paul Gosar and Lauren Boebert and… ugh… George Santos? Is that his real name? These pretenders are sworn-in members of Congress now, and they’re in charge of the House divided. Let’s see if anything survives unscathed and unbroken.

Buckle up, buttercups, because this is gonna be a bumpy ride. We’re all gonna get to see what passes as “leadership” and “accomplishment.” And what it looks like to get co-opted by a vocal minority.

The fifteenth time is the charm. Kevin McCarthy gets what he wants, but at a steep price, the implications of which will play out in the coming months.

So now the Republicans can commence their scorched earth retribution campaign and waste time and legislative energy pursuing their scatterbrained, vengeful agenda. Yea.

Two more years of drama and bullshit, coming up. Makes you wanna cry.

If one were to ponder for any length of time the stockpiles of armaments countries are sitting on, one could grow furious fairly quickly.

Billion-dollar stealth bombers, millions for one fighter jet, millions more for all manner of offensive and defensive weaponry, stockpiles of nuclear weapons, “tactical” and otherwise. Besides being gaudy, it says something about priorities and the inherent distrust among nations. We have so little faith in one another that, over the course of time, we rationalize spending trillions of dollars on raw materials for stuff that sits, just in case.

Meanwhile, much that could benefit people and improve lives limps along, underfunded or ignored or dependent on Go Fund Me pages, or the largesse of donors.

So, sort of like North Korea, with a few more revenue streams and a slightly smaller dose of paranoia.

Kevin McCarthy really is the wiener many have been saying he is. The longer the struggle to pick a Speaker goes on, the more he seems like Donald Trump—doubling down, blindly pursuing something he feels is, somehow, rightfully his, all the while damaging his credibility and laying the groundwork for further decay and loss of faith in the ability to govern.

The concessions he’s having to make are more than likely going to resurface and rear their ugly heads and make for more fodder for those who feel that America is being flushed down the toilet by people who don’t have a clue, who don’t care about traditions or safeguards or rule of law.

I wonder how long it’ll be before someone writes a tell-all book describing the current wranglings and deal making going on behind closed doors. To paraphrase Ned Ryerson, it’d be a doozy.

Damar Hamlin has been assessed as “neurologically intact” and scribbled something like, “Who won the game?” when he regained consciousness. I guess by now he might have some sense for what has unfolded since. The game has been declared a “no contest” by the NFL and apparently won’t be played. Wow.

I wonder how the players get their mojo back. It might make one wonder how much they were affected by what happened—if they’re a bit shaken, or if it’s in the past and they’re ready to beat up on each other again.

Probably won’t slow down the NFL at all. They won’t miss a beat. So to speak.

So is it simply a matter of who we choose to listen to? I could choose to listen to Neil DeGrasse Tyson and others who make sound, rational arguments for believing in what we can see and measure and discover about life and the cosmos.

Or I can choose to listen to my heart that yearns for daily miracles and the existence of a Savior who walked the earth 2000 years ago and promises to come again—someday, I guess.

So, logic and reason and facts versus murky, tenuous history bordering on fairy tale and a constant need to surrender reason and trust to someone who may or may not have ever existed in the capacity the old story tells us he did.

With each passing day, it becomes easier to trust the former.

Kevin McCarthy doesn’t look mad or frustrated, or worried. He’s smiling and laughing, he at least projects the look of someone who’s still confident, sensing a certain inevitability. This after six rounds of voting without a final result. He’s not giving up on his dream, though, the country be damned.

The question becomes, What is he going to have to promise to the holdouts? What concessions is he going to have to make in order to get him to 218? The Republican caucus is chomping at the bit to push its archaic, tired agenda, to be in power again, and we should be very concerned about that. They show us every day that they have nothing to offer but rank incompetence and the tired old deregulation and lower taxes (for whom?) schtick.

But the scariest thing is what McCarthy is going to have to promise the 19 far-right nut bags who are making life difficult for him at the moment. What procedural compromises are coming, what job description and functional changes are coming that are going to make it easier for certain factions of the party to have their way and erode the voting process for future elections, for example?

What guard rails is McCarthy gonna promise away just so he can get the job he thinks he deserves?

So, Kevin McCarthy did not garner enough support for Speaker after three rounds of voting. Jim Jordan’s name was thrown into the ring by none other than Matt Gaetz. Gaetz called Jordan “the hardest working member of Congress,” or something like that. Two things: yikes, and how would he know?

The fact that McCarthy has been unable to garner enough votes is one thing. What worries me is who the other options are. Who’s in the wings—who is it that House members would prefer? McCarthy is not the guy, I guess because he’s a waffle factory, he’s not far right enough for some, and it seems the job is all he’s ever wanted, all he’s ever angled for. The way he talks, he seems to think he deserves the speakership, he’s somehow entitled to the position.

What about Mitch McConnell? He’s an old nightmare, but at least he knows what he’s doing. Or could they surprise everyone and elect a Democrat? It seems that whatever unfolds at this point, the person who ends up prevailing might already be a lame duck– at the start of a new term.

That doesn’t bode well for anyone.

When does life begin? At conception, which is a moment that a couple can recount and pinpoint only in somewhat specific terms and in retrospect, i.e. “… it must have been those days in Acapulco, or that Wednesday in January when we were snowed in, or that night I was raped…”

When the period doesn’t arrive and confirmation of pregnancy does, some time has passed and the moment when life begins has already happened. The zygote—the fertilized ovum—can develop as nothing other than a more fully formed human being. There is no continuum into which one can push a pin. There is a certain futility in trying to split hairs and soothe consciences with philosophy and religion and even science. Arguing over the go/no go moment can be mere cerebral exercise and only matters in terms of the import given to a woman’s decision to keep or abort.

The matter of whether or not a life has been spared or taken is not up for debate, as I see it. A life will be spared or taken, regardless of the point in the pregnancy at which a decision is made.

Is not the central issue that the woman have resources and support which aid her in making a decision and having the final say in the course of events, in how things unfold? The moral implications and emotional consequences are, ultimately, of no concern to anyone but the woman. She will either be at peace with her decision, or not.

Others of course can feel upset or offended, but it’s no one else’s business to interfere with this, except in situations where the emotional and decision-making faculties of the woman are of properly assessed and verifiable concern.

It’s pretty clear that the NFL is just the modern version of stadia filled with spectators wanting to satisfy their blood lust– crazed, jacked up athletes performing in front of TV crowds and those who’ve paid megabucks to come and sit and watch some legal and not-so-legal assaults and maiming. They’re usually not disappointed.

And what’s up with the traveling show after the defense intercepts or recovers a fumble? The NFL should learn from the real futbol and tack on extra time or penalty as some sort of punishment for the superfluous theatrics. It’s all a strange, sad, annoying attempt at “entertainment,” which is what many apparently crave. Everything is a show, and in your face.

Count me out.