Hard to Pinpoint

Daily writing prompt
When was the first time you really felt like a grown up (if ever)?

Something changed the day we got married. Life was joyous but somehow more serious. Parenthood instills a sense of responsibility, and at various times during the years I was an employee of the church, I felt grown up and capable on occasion, especially at moments during certain services– weddings, funerals, etc., and always in the pulpit– or in certain settings, visiting people, the occasional counseling session.

I guess I don’t remember the first time I felt like a grown-up. It might have had something to do with being on my own, holding down a job, owning my first car– pedestrian stuff like that.

Now that the grandchildren are here, I’ve settled into the role of Silly Papa. Some sort of switch gets flipped when I’m around them. I figure I can leave the parenting to their parents, though offer some advice or a bit of discipline if it’s called for. Mostly it’s indulging them, feeding their curiosity, and trying to make them laugh.

Disheartening

It won’t be for a lack of trying. YouTubers and others in the know have been trying to get the nation’s attention for a while now. For many, it’s been DEFCON 5 since forever, or at least since November 2016. Trump’s status as fascinating side show and anomaly have morphed into a ten-alarm fire.

Nearly half the country elected him for a second term, and nearly half has been miffed and mystified on a daily basis for nine years—even when he was out of office and being convicted of multiple felonies, chirping and snipping away like the poor sport he’s always been, insistent on a “glorious” comeback, the whole time putty in the hands of the real brain trust who have the country in a headlock with its poisonous Project 2025.

The fall has been meteoric and perilous. We’ve lately seen news footage of events that shouldn’t happen in a democratic republic, or whatever we aspire to be. Add to this the conditions on the world stage, and we have Russia and China licking their chops, realizing that America is led by a paper tiger, an impostor with no appreciation of history, a lying ego monster with next to no leadership skills and a penchant for only talking a good game, seemingly capable of doing something rash and stupid at any moment…

… a pushover who cares more about gold leaf and leveraging a Nobel Peace Prize than leading a country that either aspires to be a melting pot and shining city on a hill, or has been deceiving itself all along.

Causes

Daily writing prompt
If you had a million dollars to give away, who would you give it to?

I’d take half and split it among our children and spouses, to do with what they want. If for some reason they declined to take it, I would add this amount to the sum I would parcel out to Rails to Trails, to agencies and organizations who help alleviate world hunger and other forms of suffering (The ELCA is a worthy recipient), to organizations and companies who are researching advancements in renewable energy sources, and to local start-ups who need some seed money.

It would involve some research on my part.

Blindness On a Staggering Scale

It’s not like there haven’t been warning signs along the way. Anyone who’s watched the news should be familiar with Donald Trump and his penchant for dealing in bovine excrement. His desire to be POTUS has never been guided by what most would consider worthy aspirations or a clear-eyed, hopeful vision. There have been other motivations, way more childish and sinister.

Between his own petty vindictiveness and the grand designs of misfit players around him, what we currently have in the way of leadership is a collection of ass kissers, quacks, conspiracy theorists and Christian Nationalist doomsayers who, ironically, have no use for benevolence or kindness. They don’t really know how to lead. They only know to take care of themselves and those who control the purse strings.

It’s a poisoning of the waters, foisted on this nation by people who think nothing of lying and fear-mongering all day, brought to bear because millions of people actually believed the polluted sludge emanating from the front of Donald Trump’s face and the deluded designer minions who must be storing their consciences in a vault at Fox News.

We should have seen this coming from before the day he descended that damned escalator. His coined phrase is “You’re fired!” (put that on your coin, Donald). He’s always had an ego the size of Jupiter. He’s always been needy and weak and angry, lusting for power. He’s a laughingstock among world leaders, and he’s always played right into the hands of those with the real brains and evil intent. Yet for reasons that mystify, enough of us thought he was the guy that would fix things.

Well, the fix is in, and it’s looking more like hell on earth every day.

Fun to think about

Daily writing prompt
What’s something you would attempt if you were guaranteed not to fail.

Sell our current house and buy a bigger property where I had room for a decent woodshop. I’m assuming that since this endeavor is guaranteed not to fail, such a big move would be feasible and meet with my wife’s approval. More space might make it easier for her to commit to growing her embroidery business. As it currently stands, we’re a bit cramped.

At this point in my life, that’s as bold as I can imagine.

Plans In the Macro

Daily writing prompt
What was the hardest personal goal you’ve set for yourself?

I’m not sure I’ve looked at life that way. Maybe unconsciously, but I’ve never considered myself a goal setter. There have been things I’ve done, and completed, but it’s never been that I’ve sat down and made a five-year plan or an itemized list and checked things off. It’s never felt like my life has been one long To Do list.

The biggest endeavor we undertook– as a family, though the kids probably wouldn’t describe it that way– was when we pulled up roots and moved to Gettysburg so I could go to seminary. The unstated or assumed goal– the mission– was to sustain and support ourselves along the way, and to complete the course of study, which we did. What followed for the next 26 years involved my unstated and, again, assumed purpose of being present for my family and the people of the congregations I served– a sometimes difficult balancing act.

Goal setting has always been sort of a mystery to me. My life has felt more Forrest Gump-like than anything done with intentionality and blinders on.

Lists

Daily writing prompt
Who are your favorite artists?

Artist is a broad term. I’m not really familiar with many painters, except some of the titans– Caravaggio, Da Vinci, van Gogh, Monet, Michelangelo, etc.; American Gothic, by Grant Wood, and Banksy. Rodin and MIchelangelo come to mind, in terms of sculptors, and no architects besides Frank Lloyd Wright.

Musical artists make up a different category. I’m stuck in the 70s, mostly, so America, The Beatles, Beach Boys, Boston, Chicago, Judy Collins, the Eagles, early Elton John, Joni Mitchell, CSN&Y, Billy Joel, James Taylor, Carol King, Heart, Doobie Brothers, Earth, Wind and Fire, Pink Floyd, Stevie Wonder, Led Zeppelin, a bit of Clapton and a few Rolling Stones tunes, early Melissa Manchester; Bruce Hornsby, Sting, Sheryl Crow, Bonnie Raitt, Alanis Morissette, some big band stuff, Classical Gas by Mason Williams, Dave Brubeck, and Vince Guaraldi.

Real Gems…

The image that comes to mind when Pete Hegseth is mentioned is that of handing the car keys to a 10-year-old. The same goes for RFK, Jr.

But not Russell Vought. Hegseth and Kennedy are seriously unfunny jokes, no doubt destined to do their own damage; Vought—and JD Vance and Stephen Miller—are somehow more scary, conniving players who spend their days plotting and planning and living in their own little worlds, isolated from reality, listening to Peter Thiel and others, spewing vitriolic, Christian Nationalistic paranoid gobbledy-gook, having so much to say about what’s wrong with America and saying it in a way that makes them sound like they know what they’re talking about. Dangerous, scary, apparently angry people.

Hegseth oozes superficiality; RFK, Jr. exudes a patina of expertise and concern which in reality covers a vast body of hair-brained ignorance; Vought, Vance, and Miller, along with a few others, appear to be taking a longer view, dogged in their mission to rewrite American history and replace the constitutional framework with a cold-hearted brand of isolationism and convenient, narrowly-read, oppressive “Christianity”.

Here and There

Daily writing prompt
What is your favorite hobby or pastime?

I guess I know what I’d like it to be: woodworking. If I could, and it wouldn’t happen very often, I’d be in the shop from dawn ’til dusk, taking piles of unfinished wood and turning them into finely crafted products worthy of use, worthy of selling or giving as gifts. As I mentioned in a recent post, I’d love to be familiar with and well versed in the entire process– from choosing materials to designing or understanding procedures and plans and tricks of the trade, to knowing how to operate and use the different tools, to measuring, fitting, and finishing.

In reality, it’s probably looking around, taking things in, gazing at sunsets and the night sky and trying to get my head around the mysteries, contemplating an unfathomably large universe.

This is serious

I’m just gonna get this off my chest: it’s hard to feel optimistic about the future, for at least two reasons. First, the Trump administration, or regime, cabal, whatever people are calling it, seems hellbent on destroying the foundation, and so far, that plan is working.

Second, it’s difficult to believe that Russia and China and others haven’t been actively working on disrupting the world order and hatching scenarios in which Taiwan is attacked, the NATO alliance in Europe is tested, we are drawn in, and another major conflict is born—OK, world war—weakening and distracting whatever efforts could be mounted here at home to address the Trump/Heritage Foundation problem.

Frustration is mounting here in America, because the road to authoritarianism seems uncluttered with any semblance of opposition strong enough to uproot and stop the decay. If Trump buys the farm, JD Vance will step in and be even worse, because he is possessed, well versed in poisonous rhetoric and a sinister mindset. Trump will always carry the moniker of an easy mark, a gift dropped in the laps of people like Steve Bannon, Russell Vought, and Kevin Roberts, just a malleable lackey from a broken home, with a chip on his shoulder and enough anger in his heart to keep him motivated.

One silver lining, one hope is that the military brass brought together this past week weren’t for one second swayed by the vacuous, embarrassing performances of the Secretary of Defense and whatever Donald Trump is.

Another glimmer is that protests by the general population will start to change hearts and minds, including those of Republicans in congress– or maybe they’ll finally be snapped out of their funk by Trump’s awfulness.