It was 34 years ago– the mutual decision of my wife and I to pull up stakes and move the family away from our New England roots to Pennsylvania, so I could attend the Lutheran seminary at Gettysburg and earn a Master of Divinity degree.
Master of Divinity. Apparently, I would become a vessel of knowledge and authority regarding the mysteries of God.
Anyway, besides classroom learning, including Greek and Systematic Theology (think: religious trigonometry), I learned things about myself– strengths, growing edges, and so on. I became a bit of a “wordsmith,” as one classmate described me, though I’m still not sure this was offered as a compliment. I learned that being an introvert in such a public role unsurprisingly took its toll, as it exposed my tendency toward retreat from the noise. I succumbed to reason over faith, instead of seeking and finding some sort of balance between reason and faith.
Sadly, to me, I’ve grown away from the church. I’ve become a skeptic, sometimes a cynic. I still want to believe, but it’s hard. I’ve read and seen and learned things along the way that have challenged whatever faith I once had. There’s still a spark, I guess, but not much more.
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