Daily writing prompt

Describe a decision you made in the past that helped you learn or grow.

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Though I’m sure there were others– asking for my wife’s hand in marriage among them– the one that emerges was the decision to go to seminary, which was a learning experience on various levels. It opened my eyes to the vicissitudes of human existence, it expanded my knowledge of Scripture, deepened my appreciation for the Lutheran tradition but also tempered any bias I might have from being what many might consider indoctrinated.

This decision led me and my family away from Massachusetts, where I had spent the first 37 years of my life. In terms of roots, our children may consider themselves Pennsylvanians, though two of them have long since moved away and have established lives in other states.

I guess the other decision that has affected me personally is reading Sapiens, by Yuval Noah Harari, which has cast deepening doubt on my faith, such as it has always been, and pretty much everything I learned about the Bible, along with leading to a falling away from the church.

A pretty dramatic shift, though I don’t blame Mr. Harari. It’s just something that can happen when one dares read a dissenting opinion and is skeptically-inclined to begin with.

Daily writing prompt

Describe a decision you made in the past that helped you learn or grow.

View all responses

It was 34 years ago– the mutual decision of my wife and I to pull up stakes and move the family away from our New England roots to Pennsylvania, so I could attend the Lutheran seminary at Gettysburg and earn a Master of Divinity degree.

Master of Divinity. Apparently, I would become a vessel of knowledge and authority regarding the mysteries of God.

Anyway, besides classroom learning, including Greek and Systematic Theology (think: religious trigonometry), I learned things about myself– strengths, growing edges, and so on. I became a bit of a “wordsmith,” as one classmate described me, though I’m still not sure this was offered as a compliment. I learned that being an introvert in such a public role unsurprisingly took its toll, as it exposed my tendency toward retreat from the noise. I succumbed to reason over faith, instead of seeking and finding some sort of balance between reason and faith.

Sadly, to me, I’ve grown away from the church. I’ve become a skeptic, sometimes a cynic. I still want to believe, but it’s hard. I’ve read and seen and learned things along the way that have challenged whatever faith I once had. There’s still a spark, I guess, but not much more.