Daily writing prompt

What quality do you value most in a friend?

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When I think of someone, besides my wife or siblings or collegial relationships, who I would consider a friend, only a couple people come to mind, and they are old college buddies who live halfway across the country. There aren’t many people in my life who fit in the category of friend, but those who do, it seems, have always accepted me for who I am, and we still make the occasional effort to keep in touch and visit.

I have a number of acquaintances by virtue of serving as a pastor in a couple of congregations, none of whom I’d consider a friend or confidant, but kind and decent people, just the same, with whom I golf or can still strike up an occasional conversation.

Now that I think about it, the only true, through-thick-and-thin, brutally honest friendship I’ve had in my life was probably with a classmate throughout most of the grade school years, but we drifted apart during the college years and after. Life took us in different directions.

Daily writing prompt

What jobs have you had?

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Early on in high school, I worked on a farm for a summer, doing odd jobs and mowing grass. I vaguely remember the first paycheck– a relative pittance, but it was my first legitimate paycheck. Then it was on to a restaurant part time through the later high school years and for summers during college– dishwashing, short order cook, prep work, occasional busboy. I also started working at a corrugated container manufacturer towards the end of college.

I substitute taught for a year or so after college graduation, then it was back to the corrugated container factory, working various shifts, including the “graveyard” shift (11-7), which I did for ten months before deciding it was an assault on circadian rhythms and wasn’t gonna work for me.

The closure of the container factory precipitated a bit of downtime, i.e unemployment, so I got into a bench assembly training program and was able to get a job at a company that made high-powered CO2 lasers. It was probably the best job I’ve had– fascinating technology, interesting work and people to work with.

In the early 90s, I left the laser company and we headed to seminary in Gettysburg, PA. I spent the next 26 years after graduation as an employee of the church, pastoring a total of three congregations, technically speaking, during that time (my first call became a consolidation of two congregations that ended up staying in the building and changing its name).

Since retiring, I’ve occasionally helped my son with his landscaping business.

And once a parent, always a parent.

Daily writing prompt

Do you practice religion?

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I used to. Not so much anymore. I guess maybe I’m a late-onset agnostic. I want to believe, but I’ve always been something of a skeptic, wondered about a closed canon, read Sapiens, dared to listen to people like Sam Harris, and simply looked around, which has all contributed to the current spinning of wheels when it comes to actively looking for a worshiping community.

Faith is faith, and reason is reason, and it’s always been a matter of finding a workable melding of the two. I guess I haven’t found that yet.

Daily writing prompt

Do you remember life before the internet?

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Yes. We seem to have gotten by just fine. Probably spent more time either outside or in front of the television, or just talking to people face to face. News came from the Big 3 networks– ABC, CBS, NBC– and maybe CNN or Fox. If we needed a fact, we looked it up in a book, an encyclopedia, or were more likely to head to the library. If we needed to talk to someone, we called them on a landline or dropped them a note in the mail. It’s not like we weren’t without options– just not as many.

I don’t think I’d want to go back, though.

Daily writing prompt

What are you good at?

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I’ve been told I have a certain acumen for putting pen to paper, words on a page. Other than that, I’m not sure.

I could throw a baseball pretty hard for a while. I have some patience for doing painstaking work. I take good care of our yard, compose a decent photograph, play the accordion, sit at a piano and play songs by ear, none of which is particularly significant or lucrative, but provide some enjoyment. I have a knack for remembering dates and other little known facts of lesser known value, though that’s starting to fade a bit. When I was a pastor, people sometimes told me I had a non-anxious presence, which helped in certain situations.

Daily writing prompt

What does “having it all” mean to you? Is it attainable?

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As it is often portrayed in various media, it means nothing to me. It smacks of frivolous, material pursuits, artificiality, skewed perceptions of what’s important. A self-involved, distracted life, a neverending exercise in futility, or dominance.

On the other hand, I’ve heard people gush that they feel like they have it all when they get a clean bill of health or realize somebody loves them. So, it might be attainable in a subjective, personal way, as a matter of opinion.

More a feeling than a measurable standard.

Daily writing prompt

Who would you like to talk to soon?

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Maybe a college friend, or any of my siblings– so we can commiserate, check in, share feelings in the wake of our brother’s death not quite a week ago. We’re all still walking around in a fog, going through the motions, hoping to awaken from this bad dream.

Daily writing prompt

What personal belongings do you hold most dear?

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Pictures of family and friends and places we’ve been, certain mementos and souvenirs, maybe a few hats/caps. Pretty much everything else is just replaceble stuff.

Daily writing prompt

Do you have any collections?

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Nothing of great signficance or monetary value, except maybe for a basketball signed by Bob Cousy, long after his playing days were over. Other than that, I have a box of memorabilia that I open every now and then, usually when we’re trying to put a dent in getting rid of stuff hanging around in the basement.

Just bits and pieces of my life– a popcorn holder from the first Red Sox game I attended at Fenway Park back in the early 60s, a moth-eaten pennant from a game we went to at Comiskey Park, between the Yankees and White Sox– a game Whitey Ford pitched, and in which Mantle and Maris were playing; an old magazine or front pages from the time of JFK’s assassination, and the Soxs’ first World Series win since Babe Ruth played for them– along with an empty Wheaties box with a picture of David Ortiz, and a glossy team photo from 2004. There are mementos from my trip to Philmont Scout Ranch, small rocks and other souvenirs from various places I’ve been over the years, ticket stubs from sporting events and concerts, along with several volumes of journaling I’ve attempted along the way.

There might be a small treasure trove in the top drawer of my bureau, just bits and pieces of stuff tucked in corners, under the socks and t-shirts.

Daily writing prompt

What is the legacy you want to leave behind?

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I’d be lying if I said I didn’t give it much thought, but I figure at this point, any consideration of a legacy might have something to do with my time in the church. People might see and remember me through that lens, even though I myself view those years as mostly struggle.

I haven’t and probably won’t start any hospitals or foundations, haven’t set any records, written any books or music, or invented anything. I’ve led a non-descript life, by and large, trying but sometimes not succeeding in being an attentive husband and father, being unmoved by or lacking any motivation to nurture and refine certain proclivities, or to be remembered at all, and yet very much hoping that at least a few close family members will miss me when I’m gone.

I guess, in the end, if people remember me as a serious thinker who tried to have a sense of humor, that’ll be all I can ask, or expect.