My first thought was spending time with the grandchildren and watching them grow. But then I remembered who’s President and the ghastly crew he has around him, and that excitement gets tempered quickly. Maybe what I’m most curious about– not necessarily excited– is seeing if people awaken in time to the disaster in progress.
A Slice of Heaven
Nothing fancy, just a good meat and potatoes meal– lean pot roast, with mashed potatoes and gravy, maybe some fresh local corn off the cob, and some green beans (I can’t remember all the details– it was almost 34 years ago), probably some bread or rolls, and a tasty dessert.
I just kept shoveling it in, and eventually got sick to my stomach from eating so much. I think it was the chocolate pudding that put me over the edge. It’s the only time that’s ever happened.
Particular Attire
Daily writing prompt
If you were forced to wear one outfit over and over again, what would it be?
Something that sufficed year-round– probably jeans, t-shirt, and either a pull-over sweatshirt or polo shirt, socks and sneakers. And maybe a hat/cap, if it’s the off day for a shower.
Quid pros…
A snap of the fingers. That was easy.
What kind of deal did the two fugitives work out? “Drop some bunker busters and I’ll call it even. I’ll agree to a ceasefire and you can get your peace prize.”
I’d be surprised if it didn’t go something like that.
The Why
I’m in this weird place where I yearn for that space in my life that allows for the possibility of something we can’t see, something that brushes up against or brings us in touch with a benevolent force or higher power. This used to be filled by church involvement– as a parishioner since birth and later as a pastor for 26 years. But lately, I seem to have either lost my way, or awakened on a new path where I question everything, including the existence of God.
Spirituality is very important to me– I need to know that there’s more to this existence than what’s currently meeting the eye. But I’m wondering if it’s always been more a chasing after wind than anything based on some sort of reality.
I’m not looking for a designer spirituality that gets me in touch with some inner… whatever, something that “works for me,” but rather something that satisfies longings, that corroborates theories and feelings, that hints at something bigger than what we get in this earthly life, that feeds the hope that there has to be something more. I thought I had found this in all those years when I considered myself a Christian, but now I’m not so sure. There’s been too much misery and waiting, while the world burns and people vote in useless “leaders.”
I see no reason why such a thing has to be fraught with such mystery, and with strings attached.
It’s Getting Old
Some mornings, I awaken and almost immediately find myself weighed down with anxiety.
The heat wave is upon us, the U.S. is now heavily involved in hostilities with Iran, of all places, and a presidential administration that seems bent on ending America and doing its part to render the planet uninhabitable seems to have gained a foothold in Washington.
We can’t just weather the heat like we used to, can’t have a “normal” summer heat wave without chalking it up to climate change and hateful foot-dragging. Anymore, there’s the additional worry that what we’re all witnessing is the result of years of both unwitting and intentional abuse, special interests pushing their weight around, and politicians beholden to donors who don’t give a rat’s ass about much beyond profit margins and getting their way.
Donald Trump thrives on unpredictability, claims it as a superpower, even though most of us know he’s just an overmatched blowhard who thrives on ignorance and serves at the whim of monied, self-interested fascists.
I find myself thinking that there really has never been a time when we could afford to live guilt-free in some sort of legitimate state of bliss. There always seems to be something to worry about, always a reason to be wary of intent, of people concerned with their own survival, to the exclusion of everyone else.
Coping
I try to exercise regularly, minimize the junk food, and take the medicines my doctor has prescribed. Writing in a journal and here in WordPress helps, too. It’s nice to have an outlet for what’s sloshing about in my head.
Travesty After Travesty
Trump orders us involved in bombing Iran. What is it that he wants us to stop paying attention to at home?
And Pakistan has nominated or intends to nominate him for a Nobel Peace Prize? If that happens, I will lose all faith in humanity.
Stuck in Neutral
In front of one screen or another, checking news and weather, playing Solitaire, looking at photo albums, sometimes reading a book. Other times, I just sit in a comfy chair by a window and gaze out, contemplating life, maybe trying to think of something constructive to do, or another topic for a blog post.
The Nose Knows
Daily writing prompt
Which food, when you eat it, instantly transports you to childhood?
Hmm… having trouble with this one. I’d say Spam, if I still ate that. Maybe it’s more of an olfactory experience. Certain meals– beef stew, for example– emit certain aromas while they’re cooking that take me way back.
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