In the blackness and vastness of the universe, our earthly spats and wars and human achievements and shortcomings and senses of beauty and all the absurdities we deal with are just whispers into the void. It all quite possibly falls on deaf ears.

From the vacuum of space, the beautiful blue marble might be a sight to behold, but from this side of the sliver of atmosphere that keeps us alive, there is much strife and ugliness. From out there, it’s all quiet beauty. From in here, it’s a freaking cacophony.

It’s not that it is difficult to find beauty and feel awe here on the surface of the only planet known to contain what we call life. It’s just that it feels like we’re heading toward a moment, toward an inexorable, premature culmination of some sort. Evolution has brought us to a time and place that would most likely be unfamiliar to our ancestors. And yet, evolution hasn’t brought us far enough.

We may be at the top of the food chain, we may have a spectacular brain, but it seems apparent that many are stalled at that stage of using their heads for nothing more than the proverbial hat rack. In the space where God exists, there might be love for everyone and everything, but in that space where reason and rationality rule and God seems more like a construct, exceptions apply. Judgement is passed, and a different reality competes for our attention.

The longer we live, the more likely it becomes that we’ll have a wake-up call. I suppose this could be attributed to maturation, to an accumulation of knowledge and experience– its own form of evolution– where perceptions change and a certain clarity emerges. We finally leave the womb and begin to breathe on our own. We are allowed to see the world as it is, and not as what others wish us to see. Cynicism may be part of this mix.

What I see is at once astounding and disheartening. Billions of divergent paths, and yet a movement in one direction. We are self-seeking beings told to care for others. We are products of our immediate environment, born into love and nurture or disregard and neglect, with parents who love us or who are indifferent, or for whom our existence is a bane to theirs. Depending on our country of origin and its form of government, we are products of certain histories and teachings, implored to follow the rules and think for ourselves.

The experiences of our early and formative years follow us into adulthood. We make course corrections as we are able, or we don’t. We take on the best and worst of those who are around us the most. At some point we attain a certain self-awareness. We learn to read, we observe and listen, and we start measuring and comparing things, things we’ve learned, things we’ve been taught, ideas that hatch in our heads. We make assessments, we decide what to keep and what to jettison. We interact, or we don’t. We engage, or we retreat.

I have no idea where this post is going, except to offer that earthly life is a messy thing. Our better angels are in near constant battle with the devil on the other shoulder. We catch regular glimpses of the ongoing titanic conflicts that rage among and within us. We may yearn for affirmation– that the way we see things is the right way, and all those others have it wrong.

Ah… so this is where I’m going.

What has transpired since Donald Trump emerged from his lair, and to some degree has always existed, is troubling me to an extent that I couldn’t foresee 9 years ago. The depth of Trump’s depravity, loosed on us all– even on those who still think he’s some sort of savior– conjures up a periodic need to grapple with this messiness, to try to understand what looks to me like blindness and self-seeking gone horribly awry. It seems our reality may be that, as much as we might like to skate through life unscathed, counting on some sort of self-correcting equilibrium or just a law of averages, we often get our turn at needing to stand our ground, needing to speak up and call out the bullshit we know to exist.

Relativism can buy us only so much time, until a turning point emerges. Not everyone can be right, at least as being right informs our continued existence as a nation born of lofty ideals and a daring vision. Whether or not we currently find ourselves returned to 1861, or the 1930s, we once again face a certain reckoning at the hands of people who, for a variety of reasons including a lust for power, have decided that government of the people, by the people, and for the people doesn’t work anymore. It’s too quaint a notion, and too hard.

So we have to deal with the crackpots, the wannabe despots, the wayward visionaries who are absolutely certain of the rightness of their cause, if they even know what that cause is. In the aftermath of the hush money verdict, almost the entire Republican party, along with the enablers at Fox News and the rest of their ilk, are doing their damnedest to stir up “righteous” anger and offense, while the folks at MSNBC and elsewhere are trying, with varying degrees of success, to contain their glee, trying to take the high road but predictably elated with the outcome, and intent on defending it.

Lady justice with the blindfold represents the ideal, and something our court system emulates with varying degrees of success. I’m with the folks at the peacock network and anyone else who’s defending the verdict and the process. Because I’m not the only who knows a skunk when I see one, or who stands clear of a pile of horseshit and calls it what it is. People are always happy or unhappy with verdicts, depending on where they sit.

Donald Trump stinks to high heavens, and has thumbed his nose at the rule of law for most of his life. Those who keep summoning contrived offense on his behalf, who keep defending him despite who and what he keeps proving himself to be– a deeply flawed and damaged human being unworthy of the office he seeks– need to stop the act. They’ve proven they’re great at spin and feigning righteous indignation, but need to find another horse to ride. They’ve ridden this one hard and put him up wet so many times that he– and they– don’t know which way is up anymore.

We have evolved. We have a brain, we can think and ponder, maybe even wonder. We can ask the existential “Why?”, which seems to be the hardest question to answer. Many are waiting for something more than “Just because.”

Beneath and behind “Why?” may lurk a search, a yearning, for divinity, for the all-knowing supreme being in charge of everything, someone who can shed light, offer clarification, set us on a path to enlightenment and an assurance that we’re not alone and things are going to work out.

Rickie Gervais, Juval Harari, many actors in Hollywood, the late George Carlin and Christopher Hitchens all share skepticism and even vehement denial that God exists. And in many pronouncements, one is liable to hear the familiar refrain about looking around at all the bad things that happen and blaming God for not being more involved.

In my journey of faith, or whatever this has been, I am slowly accepting the idea that maybe there is no God. It really does seem like more than coincidence that the development of most prominent religions happened back when we didn’t know an awful lot about how things worked.

The thing is, there will always be the matter of an expanding universe of mind-numbing mystery and beauty and proportion. And that lingering question—Why? And let’s not be too quick to dismiss the writings of Paul and others who still speak eloquently and insightfully to the human condition, human nature.

The criticism coming from atheists and agnostics often seems to land on a God who demands too much and isn’t around when you need him/her. A God who lets bad things happen with breathtaking regularity. I’m not sure this is the takeaway faithful scholars of the Word would want us to deduce from our reading and observations.

I resonate with certain peoples’ critiques of scripture, Old Testament in particular, with its archaic language and old ideas and pre-history and stories like God’s test of Abraham involving having to kill Isaac. Stories that are just that– good stories– and nothing more.

For me, it’s often the timetable. Time itself. It seems like we’ve waited way past long enough for redemption, for rescue, for resolution and a vanquishing of the steady parade of evil and incompetent leaders who seem to enjoy creating hell on earth.

This long cat and mouse game of needing to believe and having faith and trusting that there’s some sort of plan? There is a certain absurdity to it. And what to make of the plethora of belief systems and gods, many of whom are worshiped with great zeal and discipline?

We just keep waiting and hoping, perhaps unwilling to entertain the possibility that we really are on our own- a prospect that I still cannot bring myself to embrace.

And that question remains unanswered.

Why?

It’s just filling airtime, where value takes a back seat to merely creating content in an attempt to justify one’s existence.

This is how I’ve come to view much of what passes for journalism in the media ecosystem. Noise, fluff, bellicosity, competition ratcheted up to 11. It’s exhausting, too much.

The press, television, radio, even bloggers and podcasters are all integral parts of our need for information. They are a critical piece in keeping politicians honest. But a monster has been created along the way, by people with deep pockets and an agenda to push. Common sense is one casualty among many, perhaps a myth. And truth is splintered, relative, whatever it needs to be.

Maybe it’s always been this way, except anymore consumers aren’t as trusting as they once might have been. There’s still no shortage of gullibility and naivete, and the comforting presence and professionalism of Walter Cronkite has given way to ratings junkies and talking heads who seem to suffer from a chronic case of verbal diarrhea, many of whom live to start fires, stoke anger and spread doubt.

Republicans aren’t selling anything many want to buy. Their judgment appears clouded by a seeming obeisance to a loudmouth bully who’s finally getting his comeuppance. They’re collectively losing their shit, going into cornered rat mode, shamefully rallying around one of the greatest pretenders to ever hit the big stage. They apparently don’t mind walking around with his stench on their clothing, which makes them all smell bad. And look sad.

It’s the buy-in, the almost inevitable yet still surprising falling in line of everyone from Susan Collins to Mike Johnson, to the more predictable gun-toting die-hard saying it’s time to take a side and be ready to start shooting.

Is it because Republicans see their brand being threatened? It can’t be because they have affection and respect for convict Trump. What’s left to them that won’t come across as desperation, and mindless allegiance to a wannabe despot?

There’s a reason people aren’t making the effort to listen to those who stand by Trump. We’ve seen his “work,” we’ve lived through the seeming epoch of scatterbrained rhetoric and incompetence and utter lostness. There’s nothing worth listening for, except to consider as a warning: these people have a very different vision for America. They feel something slipping away and have designs on holding onto it by pretty much any means necessary. It’s all about the p-word, and it ain’t progress.

It’s insanity on the face of it. Many a reasonable person would look at this and think, “America is not playing with a full deck.” A person can still run for office—for POTUS even—with a criminal record. Not just pending a verdict, but a convicted felon.

I’m sure if I read up on this, I’d find that some line of logic exists here, but in the current situation, with the current person in question, it’s insanity. Trump is using the system he has designs on destroying to run for an office for which he has no qualifications, and for which he has further disqualified himself by his abominable behavior over a lifetime, but especially the last 9 years.

He’s cultivated and bamboozled millions of enablers, he’s taken up and wasted everyone’s time with his antics and his ugly persona, and he’s now a convicted felon awaiting sentencing. With three more cases pending! Yet it’s still full steam ahead to November, where it is likely he’ll be the Republican nominee for President, unless he finally implodes in the meantime.

There are probably other words that capture the essence of this endless cascade of contaminated effluence, but I’m sticking with insanity for now.

What are we supposed to be listening for? What are we supposed to make the effort to hear from Trump supporters and Republican members of Congress that is actually edifying, informative, helpful? I guess whatever they say is informative because it’s indicative of where they’re at in their own heads. It’s just that there’s nothing new there. It’s all 1950s hit parade all the time, with overtones of fascism and a strong whiff of Christian Nationalism. Provincial, paranoid whining.

They can proclaim “third world justice” and behavior becoming of a “banana republic,” when it comes to the hush money trial and verdict, but many of them seem to conveniently forget that Donald Trump is a known quantity. There is nothing that can be done to redeem or vindicate such a boorish, self-involved incompetent. He’s had this coming for a long time.

It’s what they get for hitching their wagons to a shallow, unmoored pretender.

Half the country was watching Fox or Newsmax or OAN, so they got their own fix of reactions to the verdict. I watched MSNBC for the most part. I would have probably made an attempt to watch Fox, since people in the know keep telling us we have to find ways to listen to each other. But watching and listening to pundits and anchors at Fox recount what most likely would have sounded like a totally different event and circumstances is no longer a priority for me. Hasn’t been for a long time. There would be no value in such an effort, just time wasted and blood pressure raised.

For half the country, the process is a sham and in need of a Trumpian overhaul. For the other half, it was a bit of vindication, a sign that the center is still holding.

Unless something unforeseen happens, Trump will be the nominee in July, but he will also be a convicted felon—with a slap on the wrist for a sentence—but a convicted felon nonetheless. One might reasonably assume that this new status would make a difference in peoples’ thinking when it comes time to vote in November.

The diehard 30% or so are a lock for the useless sack of shit, but maybe the rest of us will be thinking longer and harder about the wisdom of voting for a candidate who not only has a criminal record now but has been a known quantity forever– a dumb, weak schoolyard bully who doesn’t care about anything or anyone but just wants to shake you down for your lunch money.

Because that’s the kind of guy he is. That’s who’d be taking up space in the Oval Office again.

Such drama surrounding the Trump verdict. I guess the jury started deliberating yesterday. Plenty of speculation and filling of airtime on all the networks, including MSNBC. Well, that’s the only one we watch. Maybe CNN clips every now and then. And PBS Newshour. Anyway, a guilty verdict won’t move the needle much, though it would still be significant.

Sounds like the Biden camp is worried, and maybe they should be. As much of a recovery as has been touted since Covid, there are apparently many people who are unhappy with their economic circumstances, along with Biden’s policy toward Israel. And his age. And of course the southern border, which is more of an issue than it needs to be. It’s still 6 months out, and a lot can happen between now and November 5.

It’s sad that people seem so willing to compromise their values and good sense in trade for some vacuous Trump promise of economic relief. It’s difficult to believe that people trust Trump to deliver on anything, including economic issues, but polling suggests this to be the case.

I think Yuval Harari may be on to something when he talks about the importance of myth making for humans. Since it’s basically all myth—the United States, capitalism, even religion, all historically agreed upon principles that enough people abide by– all it takes is for someone like Trump to come along. He starts questioning the principles and acting like they don’t matter, and the whole thing starts looking like a house of cards.

Pundits go apoplectic, run around with their hair on fire, and people tune in and start acting the same way. There’s so much noise on TV and online that we need to take a step back, tune out, and let the network talking heads cackle and talk to themselves for a while. Opinions are a dime a dozen, flying off the shelves, embraced and repeated, for better or worse.

People will be sweltering in place, trying to find subterranean caves to escape to because the shade of a tree provides no relief; sitting in water where water never used to come, breathing contaminated, particle-laden air. And the whole time they will keep denying that we’ve had anything to do with it.

Nothing will convince them. They will go to their graves believing Donald Trump, convinced that accelerated climate change is a hoax, just more Chicken Little fear-mongering from the Left.

Let’s see what they say at the end of hurricane season.

Because even if you live inland, you don’t get to wash your hands or stick your head in the sand. The chickens are ready to roost, and none of us can, with a straight face, say we couldn’t see this coming.

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