This Mikey Will Eat Anything

What’s it like, Mike—to be the mouthpiece for an infantile tyrant, to have to stand in front of the press and lie your ass off and feign outrage and put lipstick on a pig, day after day?

What’s it like to have to spew the party line on a regular basis, even if deep inside you might be wondering if what you’re doing is pleasing your God, or pissing Him off? It must be stressful for you, must get confusing every now and then.

Here’s what many of us want to know: Why do you keep doing it? Do you ever feel like you’re being played, or that you were chosen because you could play the role of Yes Man so well?

Do you really love your God, Mike? Do you have a conscience? If you do, it must be taxed constantly by the weight of the ignominious position you’ve put yourself in. How do you think this ends, Mike?

Does it end well for anybody?

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