I’m in this weird place where I yearn for that space in my life that allows for the possibility of something we can’t see, something that brushes up against or brings us in touch with a benevolent force or higher power. This used to be filled by church involvement– as a parishioner since birth and later as a pastor for 26 years. But lately, I seem to have either lost my way, or awakened on a new path where I question everything, including the existence of God.
Spirituality is very important to me– I need to know that there’s more to this existence than what’s currently meeting the eye. But I’m wondering if it’s always been more a chasing after wind than anything based on some sort of reality.
I’m not looking for a designer spirituality that gets me in touch with some inner… whatever, something that “works for me,” but rather something that satisfies longings, that corroborates theories and feelings, that hints at something bigger than what we get in this earthly life, that feeds the hope that there has to be something more. I thought I had found this in all those years when I considered myself a Christian, but now I’m not so sure. There’s been too much misery and waiting, while the world burns and people vote in useless “leaders.”
I see no reason why such a thing has to be fraught with such mystery, and with strings attached.
3 Cents' 